Dear Dumb Diary of the undead
by ThisIsNotWonderland
Summary: This is being removed and re-written!
1. Chapter 1

_**Dear Dumb Diary of the Undead.**_

**I dont really know where I'm gonna go with this but i'm sure it will be OK! I own nothing!**  
>chap 1<p>

I really don't see the point in this. Its supposed to be for English, but I don't go to a proper school. I'm tutoured by Grammy Esme which I suppose is Ok but I don't actually know many kids my age. No pun intended, because I don't exactly have an age. One week I'll look ten and then the month after I'll look twelve. I can't wait for the next two years to pass because then I will be frozen in age and I can go to school. Why? Because I am a half human half vampire baby.

My name is Renesmee and my actual age is 6, although currently I look 12. My parents look 17 and 18, although actually one ,in vampire years, is six and the other is...wait for it...114! Gross right! Mum nags me for technically dating her 20 year old best friend Jacob Black. Its not his fault that he's a ware wolf and he imprinted on me...

Anywhoo, Gramma Esme has just looked at the pretty new book she gave me and said that she carefully explained the first paragraph had to be about family.  
>So, here I go.<p>

My mother is called Isabella Cullen (nee Swan) and she met my father when she moved to Forks about nine years ago Back then she was a Vampire but when she gave birth to me I sort of ended her human life. But thats too long a story. My father is called Edward Cullen and he is a vampire (duh) and he has four 'adopted' vampire siblings,  
>Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett.<p>

I have to go and hunt but tomorrow I shall write about the rest of my family, human and immortal.


	2. Entry one

_**Dear Dumb Diary of the Undead.**_

**I dont really know where I'm gonna go with this but i'm sure it will be OK! I own nothing! All belongs to Stemphanie Meyers. Such a legend.**  
>chap 1<p>

I really don't see the point in this. Its supposed to be for English, but I don't go to a proper school. I'm tutoured by Grammy Esme which I suppose is Ok but I don't actually know many kids my age. No pun intended, because I don't exactly have an age. One week I'll look ten and then the month after I'll look twelve. I can't wait for the next two years to pass because then I will be frozen in age and I can go to school. Why? Because I am a half human half vampire baby.

My name is Renesmee and my actual age is 6, although currently I look 12. My parents look 17 and 18, although actually one ,in vampire years, is six and the other is...wait for it...114! Gross right! Mum nags me for technically dating her 20 year old best friend Jacob Black. Its not his fault that he's a ware wolf and he imprinted on me...

Anywhoo, Gramma Esme has just looked at the pretty new book she gave me and said that she carefully explained the first paragraph had to be about family.  
>So, here I go.<p>

My mother is called Isabella Cullen (nee Swan) and she met my father when she moved to Forks about nine years ago Back then she was a Vampire but when she gave birth to me I sort of ended her human life. But thats too long a story. My father is called Edward Cullen and he is a vampire (duh) and he has four 'adopted' vampire siblings,  
>Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett. His Tecnical Mom and Dad are called Esme and Carlilse<p>

I have to go and hunt. I seriously cant be bothered with this,

_Nessie_

**Hello people from earth or beyond. Sorry its kinda short, stuck for inspiration. Keep calm and enjoy some cheese while I write chapter deux.**

* * *

><p>chap 2<p>

I honestly can't believe it! My Grandpa Charlie just called and said that he wants me to come and stay. At first I was excited because I havent seen Grandpa Charlie in 4 years but then I realised why...he doesn't know my secret and to him I am supposed to be six. I decided to ask mom what to do and we decided that Alice will come to Forks with me. I am going to dress in _very _babyish clothes. Alice went out shopping (typical Al) to buy me something. She called me up to my room for me to try it on and then go down to the living room but I looked _rediculous_. Picture this; a pink teeshirt with a puppy on it, a pair of jeans embroydered with hearts and pink trainers. EEULLK! Uncle Emmett was LHIAO (laughin his immortal ass off) I was so angry that Jake had to see me like this. He actualy fell off our sofa laughing. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Alice is driving us to Forks tomorrow afternoon. Then all of a sudden dad asked me if I think I have enough self-control. I don't actually,beleive it or not, find human blood overly appealing,although I was forced into drinking donated human blood last year by Grandpa Carlilse. Because I don't eat human food and apparently half vamps have to I got some random deacise and only human blood could cure actually smelt kind of gross, like out of date ham. When I told Jacob about the smell he told me that thats how my parents smell like with a great big hoho laugh. Dad said to mom ''I didnt know we let the dog in'' which I suppose was quite funny. Grr I really hate diary writing gotta go, still not seeing the point

_Nes_

* * *

><p><em>chap 3<em>

Excuse my really bad handwriting, I'm in Alice's car. I'm in Seattle, nearly in Forks. Urg hate these clothes. Getting so stressed I've already broke three pens while writing this, excuse the pen smudges. I'm behaving worse than Emmett. I open the neon green satchel that Alice bought me and pull out my Iphone. Alice tells me that I can't bring that out infront of Grandpa. UUUUUUUrrrgggggg. There goes another pen. I'm texting Jake.  
>me: I 3 u and miss u<br>Jake xoxoxoxoxo: I do too babyxoxox  
>me: come rescu meee!<br>Jake xoxoxoxoxo: U know I can't babe, I'll see you in a few xoxoxxxoxoxoxoxoxoxx

* * *

><p>Urrrggggg... Arriving at grandpas. Write tonight. Still angry.<p>

_Renesmee Carlie Cullen_

**Hey dudes and dudettes, will write tomorrow, love yous all**

**stay immortal.**


	3. AN

_Dear Dumb Diary Continues!_

**After many requests, I've decided to take Dear Dumb Diary of the Un- dead off fanfiction, instead of somebody adopting it. I see it has potential, so I'm currently re-writing it.**

**I didn't understand how fanfics worked, so it will be best if I edit and re-write it as a project. I might not find the time to edit it, but it's worth a shot!**

**Sorry if anybody wanted to adopt it! **

yasmincheesecullen.

PS- I'll try to upload some more of 'Chocolate Eyes' tomorrow.


End file.
